Every few months and at the start of each year I ask myself not what I should add to my plate but what should I give up? It’s this revolving door of life inventory that helps me evolve - it honestly includes people, places and things - lots of hard decisions.
We’re often taught to persist, endure, or embrace resilience by tolerating people and environments that may just be a signal of misalignment. What if the true path to resilience is not through struggle, but through knowing when to stop doing and start unlearning?
There’s moments in my life where I ask myself:
What do I need to give up?
Who do I need to give up?
I look at the various areas of life which include:
Work
Relationships
Finances
Extracurriculars (service & hobbies)
Health and
Spirituality.
I look at what’s out of whack and what needs to come into harmony with my life vision. In the business world, we call them levers.
It takes time, but the results have always come with peace. I’ve found that sometimes by doing less you can achieve more. 2024 is my year of simplicity and I have much to share on how this has panned out (but another time).
In a world that equates value with productivity and success with perpetual motion, the idea of giving up has been painted as a weakness or a failure.
I don’t believe in failure. To me, there are two options - you win or you learn.
I’ve found that this sense of surrender has led me to transform and evolve—not in the sense of defeat, but in the sense of releasing the burdens that no longer serve who I’m meant to be.
I’ve come to understand that control is an illusion, a false sense of security - no matter the choices we think we’re making, we need to learn lessons, build our character and our souls - sometimes it will be painful and sometimes blissful. To give up control is to surrender to our authentic self, to trust the wisdom of our soul. Surrendering to our authentic self allows for alignment with our soul’s desire, living a life that honors our unique gifts and passions.
My faith guides me - for whatever you believe, when you give up trying to control too much and every detail, that’s when the magic starts to happen.
So what am I giving up?
This photo is the firs time I saw myself. Really saw myself in May 2023. I didn’t realize how quitting things and habits not in alignment helped me to glow and be on a much greater path of fulfillment. Hat courtesy of Quit the jones.
Giving up burnout and reclaiming our energy
Burnout is a silent thief, stealing our vitality, creativity, and joy. It creeps in as we push ourselves beyond our limits, chasing perfection and accomplishment. Burnout, to me, has never been that I’m doing too much, but simply not enough of what I LOVE. I mean LOVE. My worth isn’t tied to output but where and how I’m authentically using my talents to contribute to the world. Giving up burnout is to understand that rest is not a luxury, but a necessity. By giving up burnout, we open ourselves to a more sustainable rhythm and harmony of life, where our energy is cherished and our well-being prioritized.
Giving Up the Need to DO and embracing to BE
We are often caught in the endless cycle of doing—constantly moving from one task to the next, our minds always occupied with the next item on the to-do list. There’s stark difference in doing and being. It is to sit in stillness and find peace in the present moment helps to unearth your purpose. Thanks to my Jesus for pushing me back to reading the bible, friends who pushed me to read “The Power of Now” and for a level of awareness that allows me to appreciate more of the present moment. By embracing being, we foster a life of ease and tranquility, where our actions flow naturally from a place of inner calm.
Giving Up Planning and trusting the Flow
Planning gives us a sense of control, a false sense of security in an ever-changing world. Planning too much lends itself to disappointment and resistance when things naturally start to take a different course. To give up planning is to trust the flow of life, to surrender to the unknown with a sense of curiosity and openness. It is to recognize that while we can set intentions, we must also allow space for God, Jesus, the universe… to work. In trusting the flow, I’ve found an immense amount of peace and acceptance that what is ahead of me is for good and what’s not good, is for my character.
Giving Up Overextending and honoring Our Boundaries
Women, in particular, are often taught to overextend ourselves, to give until there is nothing left. To give up overextending is to honor our boundaries, to recognize that we cannot pour from an empty cup. It is to understand that saying no is an act of self-love and self-care, and that our worth is not diminished by admitting what we cannot do. By honoring our boundaries, we create a life where our needs are met and our well-being is safeguarded.
An affirmation I use around this idea:
“Put yourself first. Do what brings you joy.”
I constantly have to tell myself this or I end up putting everyone else’s questions, initiatives, desires and needs above my own.
Giving Up Fear and Embracing Courage
2023 was my year to “not make fear-based decisions”. I refused to be led by fear but instead by courage. I had some incredible conversations with my friends about fear - the different types and how fear can either debilitate or motivate a person.
Fear holds us back, keeps us small, and prevents us from living fully. Having worked in hospice, I see many people at the end of their lives wish only for what they could have done more of - I don’t want to be this person. To give up fear is to embrace courage and the unknown - to trust that it will all work out for your good. It is to understand that courage is not the opposite of fear, but the willingness to move forward despite it.
Courage allows for our true potential to emerge.
Giving Up Excess and Cultivating Simplicity
In a world of excess, consumption, and convenience, we are often disconnected from what truly matters. To give up excess is to cultivate simplicity, to find joy in the essentials. It is to recognize that a simpler life is a richer life, filled with meaning and purpose. By letting go of excess, we create space for what truly nourishes our soul.
A few examples on how I’ve embraced simplicity this year:
I go to farmers markets much more often which are less overwhelming than grocery stores for me
I use laundry detergent sheets and wool dry balls cutting down on my waste and time spent shopping for when detergent runs out and dryer sheets need replacement. What I use now lasts so much longer. I don’t enjoy going shopping for these items so the less I have to think about the better. Prior to this, I have bought laundry detergent in bulk and didn’t have to buy anything new for 3 years - the determination!
I used to cook at home a bunch and got in the habit of ordering. I’m back to making most of my meals at home or getting any premade food from small mom and pop stores. Keeping the ingredients simple and easy!
I use the same soap for my dishes, showers/baths and hand soap containers - a small change that has driven much more efficiency in my life.
I have streamlined my personal care as well - prioritizing ayurvedic routines and products while focusing on growing my natural hair and desired nail length without any of the fake stuff. I’ve been done a long time ago but easy maintenance is key.
Reduce use of plastic bottles unless I absolutely have no other option. I prepare ahead of time to bring a reusable or buy glass.
All of this is a work in progress.
Giving Back to the World and Honoring Our Gifts
We each have unique gifts, talents, and perspectives that the world needs. I needed to give up being afraid of stepping into my purpose fully, to give back to the world in a way that honors a love for humanity. It is to understand that our gifts are not meant to be hidden, but to be shared. By giving back, we create a ripple effect of positivity and abundance, enriching the world with our unique contribution. I love the concept of givers and takers by adam grant.
In this act of giving up, we are not resigning ourselves to passivity or mediocrity. Rather, we are choosing to live in a way that honors our true selves, fostering a life of peace, positivity, and abundance.
We are embracing the art of "dolce far niente"—the sweetness of doing nothing—and finding profound fulfillment in simply being. We are creating a life that is rich in meaning, connection, and joy, a life that celebrates our authentic being.
It’s been a hard road for me to go through this experience but I’ve finally grasped the lesson as I now put it into practice—to find, to rediscover, and to fully embrace the essence of who we truly are.
